I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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