Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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