I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
