The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
