I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
