I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
