every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
