i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
