im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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