thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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