Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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