its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
