it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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