I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
