I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
