I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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