all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There are leaves in my underwear?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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