your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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