my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
