is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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