Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
