dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
