Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish they made helmets for livers.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
