I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
