Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize