Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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