All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
