Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
