While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
