Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
