she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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