I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
50% drunk capacity currently
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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