I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I love having hate sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
