Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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