I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
