I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
please come you make the beer taste better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
