He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
