Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
