Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
