if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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