plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
