He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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