It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
