I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
