one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
