his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
