Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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