I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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