Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
