i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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