Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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