matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
