What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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