Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
