Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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