He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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