The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
