I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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