another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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