oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
