For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Houston, we have a squirter
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
