My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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